A new year always has us thinking about the future.
About the next step.
About what is ahead.
I’m spending the first five weeks of 2021 at faith builders. Spending time learning, and thinking, and growing closer to God.
But one thing about going forward is that we leave things behind. But we must also carry them along.
The things behind us always shape what is before and every year I realize this more fully.
Sometimes there are things we wish we could truly leave there.
That they would never follow us.
Others we are thankful to carry along.
I grew up in a christian home with parents who taught us about God and e Bible.
I went to a christian school with teachers who modeled what it looks like to be a Christian.
But choosing a faith is different than being in a culture and while we can be both we are not neccesarily.
I lived in fear as a teenager.
Also quite a bit of bitterness towards a God who required so much and gave seemingly so little in return.
I didn’t realize that it was I who had not received what he was trying to give.
I remember making the decision. It was a choice I made deliberately.
I would give God a chance.
I started to read the Bible seriously. I prayed sincerely. And I started to believe.
I remember finding the story of Jarius and how he said to Jesus, “Lord I believe, help thou my unbelief!”
And I prayed that prayer many times.
Sometimes I still pray it.
It is something I am happy to carry along.